How To Reach Out For Help Without Feeling Less For Doing So.

This is one of the factors that I can now openly admit, kept me stuck for years. For my part it was based on ego and not wanting to look weak for not knowing something, or for needing help with something when I was struggling.

Another part of it was that I wasn’t sure where that help was going to take me. It would most probably represent change of some kind, and that can be scary, even when at face value it appears positive.

So there is a few things going on here really. If I have the fear of judgement for perceiving asking for help as a weakness or/and I fear that that help may actually cause change in my life and that is scary, then chances are we may say nothing and just go back to the stuff that is not, and has never worked for us in freeing us from what we are struggling with.

So what does that perception or weakness and fear of change really mean? If you are stuck in a pattern of frustration and being taken advantage of in work, what would it mean to reach out for help, I mean help that would change how things are? Help to change a dynamic of relationships so you are heard, represented and respected instead of feeling hurt. Help to stop the ongoing battle with your body and the comprising you have to do with it.

Let’s take the easiest example of them all the body. If your body actually was to make the changes you want to see in it, what would it mean? Would you want the extra attention of people telling you how well you looked? Would that tell you they didn’t think you looked well before? Would you have to buy a whole new wardrobe? What would that look like? Does that cause you stress? Are you going to have to be different in many other different aspects of your behaviour? Are people going to be jealous or sabotage your progress…. and a million other things.

This is fear bases thinking and is an extension of those two things that asking for help might mean for us. Essentially judgement and uncertainty. In the end the decision to stay the same and keep the things the same, either through doing nothing or engaging in things we already know won’t work, creates a safety.

It also pretty much guarantees that things don’t change. Whether it is the same outcomes in relationships, the familiar battle with weight loss, or the same stresses and frustrating interactions in your working life. So if you want to reach out for help without feeling less for doing so, I invite you to first look at what reaching out for help actually means to you.

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