Four Gay Men and an Unexpected Ally

How four gay men and an unexpected ally taught me how to be a gay man

This is my inaugural story on Medium—or anywhere else for that matter, and I hope it’s the beginning of many more. I think it’s fitting that it comes during Pride 2019, the fiftieth anniversary of the Stonewall riots and the beginning of what was then called the “gay rights” movement.

I had some incredible gay men as role models growing up. It made things so much easier for me when at fourteen a thunderclap went off in my head and I realized—after a few years of conflicting feelings — that I was indeed gay.

Honestly, It was more confirmation than revelation. I clearly remember having very strong physical and emotional desires for other boys when I was five years old.

Throughout my childhood, my Uncle Bill was the primary male influence in my life. In some ways, he still is. He made an honest effort to spend time with me as a kid, and in doing so he made me feel that I was worth spending time with. It was obvious he liked doing it too—unlike my half-brother.

Also, gay uncles are just plain cool.

Every Christmas Eve, Uncle Bill and his partner Uncle Don, would load up Uncle Don’s Mercury Cougar XR7 convertible (the model with the super-cool hard top that disappears into the trunk) and — along with their Cockapoo, Lucy — drive down from their home on Castro Street in San Francisco to spend the holiday with me, my mom, and the rest of my gathered family.

They would roll out their sleeping bags on the living room floor in front of the fireplace, while over in the corner the Christmas tree stood ablaze with lights and a sea of presents beneath it.

One year, Uncle Bill called to ask if they could bring a friend with them who had no place to go for Christmas. My mom was delighted to have one more mouth to feed for the holiday so she said yes.

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